Often in difficult or confrontational situations, we tend to automatically respond in a rather emotionally charged manner that makes matters worse. This is often described as a “knee-jerk” reaction.
Such reactions can get us into even deeper troubled waters when we allow our "judgey" inner-saboteurs to highjack our emotions. Unchecked over time, this kind of behaviour becomes our “default” setting for handling - more like mishandling - difficult situations.
So, the next time someone presses your buttons in a business or personal discussion, try following these 3 steps going forward:
1. Recognise Your Emotional Triggers:
Don’t automatically give in to your default knee-jerk setting. Take a moment to connect with your compassionate and wise inner-leader before you react.
2. Breathe:
Relax and think about how best to achieve the desired outcome you seek. Try looking at the Big Picture and explore the matter from the other person’s Perspective.
3. Reframe Your Response Positively:
Begin your sentence with: “What I like about your idea is....” (statistically, you'll find at least 10% of anybody's argument agreeable), then continue with an “And...” inserting your own point of view in a calm and sensible manner (devoid of any emotionally-charged words).
Think of these steps as a way of re-wiring your brain to handle tough situations in a more sensible & fruitful manner. With practice, you’ll end up with a new and more effective “default” setting that gets you the desired outcomes you seek!
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